Tuesday 29 March 2011

Whatever Comes After Genesis!

Comments & Analysis:
 
Some of you felt the last post was too
short so I will supplement it with an
appendix: which just like the one in
your anatomy doesn't do sh*t.
Ooh! Wordplay.
Moving along.

[INSERT EPIC TITLE  
WHICH  ALLUDES TO THE PROCEEDING TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
WHILST STILL KEEPING THE READER IN SUSPENSE,  
WITHOUT THEM REALIZING THAT THEY WILL SOON LOSE INTEREST
HERE]
or
EXODUS
What is an exodus? It can be defined as a mass departure of people. It is commonly seen at packed night clubs, mostly when DJs play a Danny K song and the crowd collectively thinks,
"F*** this, let's get out of here. We'd rather be at home watching that episode of Muvhango we PVRed 4 months ago."

For those of you who are religiously inclined, you will know it/Exodus as the second book of the King James Bible. The one written by Lebron "King" James (of the Miami Heat) to be exact. A book which inspired me to live my life like there were only 3 second left on the shot clock. The best 3 seconds of your life ladies ;-)
Here's one of my favourite clichéd Quotes from this great book;

"Alley oop onto other as you want them to alley oop unto you".



A book so good, that no one has even
considered writing a sequel. Having said, you shouldn't
mess with a good thing.
We all know that there are only so
many times that you can "Meet The Fockers"
before you tell them to Focker off out of your life.

Wait, what this post about again. Oh yes, exodus. A few years ago, various members of the ANC decided to form their own political called COPE.
COPE being the acronym for Children Obstructing Political Evolution.
Someone had to prove Darwin wrong.
Once these revolutionaries had left the clutches of their tyrannous leaders at the ANC they were greeted with, aaah for f*** sakes, MORE tyrannous leadership.

So my minions, what is the moral of the story?
It's simple really.
No social movement (such as COPE or otherwise) can grow or prosper when it's sole purpose is to destroy it's contemporaries.
Everything you do should be fueled by positive energy.

Let us all unite for one common cause and be leaders of the new exodus!
 

if you are still not impressed by the contents of this piece, email me at
@yourmomisnext.com

Hugs and Kisses bitches.

Tuesday 15 March 2011

Genesis

Hi. Don't say hi back. Talking to a machine is mental. 

This is officially my first post. This blog will contain my ramblings but more importantly innumerable amounts of information that will not change your life in any way. Think of it as "Jika Jika meets Selimatunzi: The Pantomime". I've always wanted to be a world renowned writer but my parents have always encouraged me to get a "real job" so I have resorted to this instead. Blogs are cool, because unlike bbm, I'll never know whether anyone has read this or not. I would like you to travel with me on this epic journey where we, and by we, I mean I, will analyse the state of our nation through various analogies. 
Fear not my minions, future post will actually be interesting.

I would like to end off by telling you that you've just wasted 43 seconds of your life by reading this, 65 if you went to a government school and 123 if you went through Bantu education.
Ta. Till the next webisode.

BY THE WAY:
If you have any suggestion on future posts, please mail me @suckmyballs.com.