Numbers - Ooh, The Asian Kids Are Gonna Love This

Vodacom is red
Violets are blue
Is this gonna rhyme?
I couldn't be bothered
Suck my balls
In your face.

OK. OK. One rhyme then.

Politicians are mental
And chicken is tasty
Why does Nathaniel
Look oh so pasty?


Did you hear that? Shakespeare just rolled in his grave. I sense an Avbob slogan coming out of this.
What's funny about numbers you ask(which is a really presumptuous thing to say)? 

F***k all, but I promised all seven people who read this blog I'd write another one. 

Oh, wait. Make that eight, my mom just accidentally clicked on the link when it popped up in the "browser history". I hope I deleted all the links to those porn websites I visited. 

Don't judge me. It was for research purposes. You can only get away with the missionary position for so long. Ask the colonialists. Oh wait. 

They're dead too.

The book of Numbers tells the story of the Israelites over nearly forty years when they left mount Sinai until they reached the border of the "promised land". I was gonna read the whole book (of Numbers obviously) myself but the synopsis that I just cut and paste(d) from Wikipedia will suffice. 

At this point you're thinking I'm really lazy.
You're right.
[Now give yourself a chomp for coming to that conclusion all by yourself!]

Plus I've got a whole lot of episodes of Grey's Anatomy I need to catch up on. Not because i particularly enjoy the show, i just like having something to talk to women about.
Saying things like, "Oooh Mcsteamy. That's another name for a caffe latte right?" will get you thrown out of most slumber parties. Or so I hear.

For those of you who have no idea what the promised land is, it's because you probably live in a municipality run by the ANC, not to say that the DA are doing any better. I like to think of ALL political parties as canines marking their territory.
"They're always taking the piss"
Well, them and the "Reitz 4". If none of the aforementioned references are ringing a bell, It's probably because you think newspapers are only for wrapping your fish and chips as opposed to reading.
LOW BLOW!
Are you gonna be a tattle and report this blog? No one likes a tattle tale, ask Jackie Selebi.

OUR struggle was fought over many years with democracy being OUR promised land. I'm using the word OUR very loosely. I have yet to throw a petrol bomb at anyone, Unless you count the last time I poured petrol over a braai stand and nearly burnt the house down. In my defence, everyone was really hungry and we could not wait a minute longer. I'm no political science major (because i decide to study a degree that would allow me to obtain novel things like money) but I can tell that we need a change. Not in that Barack Obama kinda way either,there's nothing worse than a Zulu president with a twang. Nah mean my niyikha. Sies, I used the "n word".
The will of the people should be the will of the government.
(See what I did with the colours there? Huh? Huh?)
That is true democracy.

We want
-closed toilets
-roads without potholes
-protection from the police
-accountable councillors
-free take 5s at first break
-access to hospitals
-less propaganda on the news
-delicious b****es(wait, that's one's just for me)

AND
WE WANT TO BE HEARD, NOT A HERD. - T Boz MaBheki (former president of the made up quotes commission)

On the 18th of May we all need to make our way to the polls In Our NUMBERS
and put who we see fit to deliver basic services(and more) in power. Having said that, don't waste your vote on AZAPO, The ACDP or The Kiss Party. That's like Manchester United trying to sign Jabu Pule. It's tempting but we know it's not gonna end well.
Do the right thing and exercise your democratic right to vote. It'll cost you less money and pain than trying to vote for your favourite house mate on Big Brother Africa. That show is properly shite. Apologies. I digress.
Go Vote.
Good bye my angels.
xoxo


Mojak Lehoko is member of the We Don't Have Better Sh*t To Do Than Write Really Annoying Things On The Interweb Association also know as WDHDBSTDTWRATOTIA.

He has a certified degree in journalism purchased at Bree taxi rank last Tuesday. The degree came with penis enlargement herbs hence his use of BIG words that he doesnt't understand and the phrase "It's a hard knob life!"